We’re all thumbs.

The Top 9 Reasons We Want
Roger Ebert to Get Better

9> There’s a butt-load of artsy foreign films coming out that no one else wants to review.

8> Two thumbs up from me and my friend Bob has more national relevance than two thumbs up from Roeper and Leno.

7> Because I don’t believe Mary Hart is being straight with me on how good “Material Girls” really is.

6> Talk of potential replacements is actually getting around to Gene Shalit.

5> Hot dog sales in Chicago have plummeted.

4> I picked Roeper in my dead pool. By homicide.

3> Guest critic Steve Guttenberg wasn’t a good judge of scripts, so why should I believe he’s a good judge of finished product?

2> The sooner he’s back to work, the less tempted he’ll be to write a sequel to “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.”

and the Number 1 Reason We Want Roger Ebert to Get Better…

1> Paul Reubens has been his “seat warmer.”

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Credits:

Selected from 26 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA — 1, 9
John English, Orem, UT — 2, 3, 7, 8 (Blockbuster!)
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 4
Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA — 5, 6
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 5
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Crossing my thumbs…