The Top 9 Reasons
Ticket Sales Dropped Last Year

9> Who can leave the house with all of those quality new shows on UPN??

8> Paris Hilton’s movie went straight to video.

7> Scrambling to stay below the “Hey, I could buy the DVD for that much” threshold.

6> Severe lack of Adam-Sandler-as-lovable-retard movies.

5> Let’s see… pay eight bucks to see “The Haunted Mansion” and feel sick and nauseated, or get a flu shot, which will prevent me from feeling sick and nauseated?

4> Because, as a good American, I was in silent protest of the exploitation of… aw, hell, I ate too many Big Macs and my ass got wedged into my computer chair.

3> Huge Hobbit feet make men feel inferior.

2> People still washing their eyes out from the nude scenes in “About Schmidt.”

and the Number 1 Reason Ticket Sales Dropped Last Year…

1> Everyone spent too much time getting to the bottom of that pesky “chicken vs. tuna” mystery.

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Credits:

Selected from 46 submissions from 13 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 1, 4 (1st #1, yippee-kai-yay!)
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 2
Brad Wilkerson, El Sobrante, CA — 3
Danny Gallagher, Henderson, TX — 5
Marko Peric, Charlottetown, PE — 6
Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA — 7
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO — 8
Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD — 9
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Always a Critic