NOTE FROM ERIC:

Oscar favorite Russell Crowe’s temper keeps making headlines,
most recently after a tantrum over the editing of
his acceptance speech at a British film awards ceremony.
With all his fame, fortune and accolades, what could be
making Russell Crowe so upset?

The Top 5 Reasons
Russell Crowe Is Angry Today

9> No one wants to assassinate him anymore.

8> Jennifer Connelly promised to introduce him to David Bowie, but she’s just all talk.

7> Outraged that now only 7 out of 10 dentists recommend Trident for their patients who chew gum.

6> Well, there’s that whole campaign against the credibility of “A Beautiful Mind” — and, oh yeah, they were out of Frosted Cheerios in the hotel this morning.

5> Orders troops to “unleash hell,” instead they unleash golden retriever, and it just ruins his garden.

4> He’s seen all the Golden Girls episodes on Lifetime, now they’re all just repeats.

3> Those “Less filling” guys will NEVER learn.

2> “Sure, everyone talks about MY temper, but you should see how out of control Ron Howard gets when you do an innocent ‘Fonzie’ impersonation.”

and the Number 1 Reason Russell Crowe Is Angry Today…

1> He just wants to sing and caper, dammit!

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Credits:

Selected from 49 submissions from 13 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 1
Jennifer A. Ford, Ft. Wayne, IN — 2
Topher Bellavia, Washington, DC — 3, 4, 9
Jude Benlab, Swarthmore, PA — 5, 8
Clifton J. Gray, Tucson, AZ — 6
Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL — 7
Craig D. Barker, Livonia, MI — 8
Eric F. Lipton, Chicago, IL — Script Doctor