NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

George Clooney didn’t shave his head
for “Syriana” because he was afraid
his hair might not grow back. More
recently, he feared he’d contracted
malaria after visiting Darfur.
(It was food poisoning.)
Jeez, George, be a man.

The Top 8 Other Things
George Clooney Is Afraid Of

8> People will discover the “Return to Horror High” DVD.

7> He’ll end up looking like fellow “Sexiest Man Alive” Nick Nolte.

6> Any of the 3,207 women he’s slept with will go on “Entertainment Tonight” and announce his real penis size.

5> Too many people thinking he lives in “Lake Homo.”

4> The ocean. Kinda ironic, ain’t it?

3> Ending up at Guantanamo after answering a midnight knock at the door.

2> Tootie.

and the Number 1 Other Thing George Clooney Is Afraid Of…

1> Never finding true love, and living the drawn-out, empty life of a lonely old man. Just kidding, he’s afraid of crawly spiders!

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Credits:

Selected from 34 submissions from 11 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 1
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 2
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 3, 7, 8 (Three-picture deal!)
Kris Johnson, Los Angeles, CA — 4
Judith Cotrill, Bronx, NY — 5
John English, Orem, UT — 6
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Afraid of George’s Attorney