NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

They missed a few last weekend…

The Top 8 Oscars We’d Like to Award

8> Ashton Kutcher: Best Wishful Thinking

7> Martin Sheen: Best Performance By an Actor in a Visa Commercial

6> Britney Spears: Technical Award for Man-Made Objects in an Unsupported Role

5> Pauly Shore: Most Likely to Be Slammed by Top5 Yet Again, Despite Not Having Made a Movie in Ages

4> Julia Roberts: Best Ability to Focus Attention on Self Even During Presentation to Another

3> Cher: Best Presenter over 50 Wearing a Postage Stamp’s Worth of Material

2> Jennifer Lopez: Best Performance by an Actress in My Spank Fantasies

and the Number 1 Oscar We’d Like to Award…

1> Susan Sarandon: Best Bet for Someone to be Carried Off Stage Kicking and Screaming “No Blood for Oil!”

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Credits:

Selected from 18 submissions from 6 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX — 1, 8 (2nd #1)
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 2, 7
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA — 3, 6
Kris Johnson, Glendale, CA — 4
Kim Moser, New York, NY — 5
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — List Editor