NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

According to the TV machine last night,
plastic surgeons estimate that Michael Jackson
has had at least seven operations on his face.
But Jacko says — ah, who gives a fork?
What *don’t* we know?

The Top 8 Least-Known
Hollywood Cosmetic Surgeries

8> David Spade: Left eyebrow tendon shortened.

7> Julia Roberts: Seven extra molars intalled.

6> Glenn Close: Forehead-dewrinkling via insertion of windshield from a ‘98 Buick Regal.

5> Lassie: After her third litter, had five of her twelve breasts reduced.

4> Producers: Well, apparently scripts for most of the movies I’ve seen recently have had a verbal lobotomy.

3> Anna Nicole Smith: Finally just gave up and added flukes and a blow-hole.

2> Angelina Jolie: Went to divorce court and had an ass removed.

and the Number 1 Least-Known Hollywood Cosmetic Surgery…

1> Joan Rivers: The first to have “The Magellan,” wherein the face is stretched entirely around the head and back to its original position.

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Credits:

Selected from 23 submissions from 8 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL — 1, 2, 3 (3 pic deal! 10th #1)
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 3, 5
Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD — 4
Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA — 6, 7, 8 (3 pic deal!)
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — A little lipo, so sue me!