The Top 8 John
Malkovich Pickup Lines

8> “You can enter my portal any time.”

7> “Despite what you may have heard, I have no problem with you using me to channel a dead lesbian lover.”

6> “Can I pet your little rabbit?”

5> “Wanna play ‘Hyde Mr. Jekyll’?”

4> “I have the unique desire to molest you while wearing a Pinocchio suit and nibbling on your peanut-butter-covered toes.”

3> “Are your legs tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all night. No, really, you’ve been in my head all night!!”

2> “Think of it this way — after tonight you’ll only be two degrees away from Kevin Bacon.”

and the Number 1 John Malkovich Pickup Line…

1> “Floors aren’t the only thing there are 7 1/2 of, baby.”

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Credits:

Selected from 22 submissions from 7 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 1, 3, 7 (Hat trick! 3rd #1)
Kim Davis, Los Angeles, CA — 2
Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 4
Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL — 5, 6
Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX — 8
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Separated at birth from John