NOTE FROM ERIC:

Kristanna Loken, from the TV show “Philly,” has been tapped
for the lead role in the next Terminator movie. She’ll play
“T-X,” the most dangerous cyborg ever.

The Top 9 Items on the
Female Terminator’s To-Do List

9> Pick up 8-pack of Maxi SuperFlow Dipsticks with Wings.

8> Earn only 70 cents to every dollar earned by male Terminators, kill all who perpetuate such a system.

7> Seduce a guy into bed, then do a “Crying Game” morph.

6> Purchase tickets to, terminate all involved in, the Lilith Fair.

5> Make friends with this “TiVo” fellow — apparently he’s got all the episodes of “Sex and the City.”

4> Start own magazine: “Terminator Living.”

3> Go to the future and prevent the one thing that destroyed civilization: Governor Schwarzenegger.

2> Sell biography to Lifetime Network: “Not Without My Liquid Metal Daughter”

and the Number 1 Item on the Female Terminator’s To-Do List…

1> “Are you Sarah Connor? Omigod! Have you done something with your hair?”

.

Credits:

Selected from 54 submissions from 15 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — 1, 5, RU Name
Jude Benlab, Swarthmore, PA — 2
Topher Bellavia, Washington, DC — 3
Clifton J. Gray, Tucson, AZ — 4
Ian Ravdin, Santa Monica, CA — 6, 8
Kim Moser, New York, NY — 7
Brian M. Klesc, Joliet, IL — 9
Aimee Spanier, Oakland, CA — Guest Termineditor
Eric F. Lipton, Washington, DC — Script Doctor