NOTE FROM ERIC:

With all the excitement of last night’s Academy Awards,
you can forgive the Hollywood stars for being a little
forgetful and klutzy. To help them out, we present:

The Top 9 Items Found
by the Oscar Cleanup Crew

9> One bra, unclaimed by Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, or Marlon Brando.

8> The hidden dragon.

7> Interdimensional porthole the universe where Bjork is normal.

6> The Oscar for Sound Editing, proving that even the winner of the award doesn’t care.

5> The innocence that Billy Elliot kid lost after seeing J-Los dress.

4> A pumpkin, with a knife in it, and a note from Russell Crow to Steve Martin simply reading: “You.”

3> 1992 Best Supporting Actress Marisa Tommie

2> A dull black obelisk from space — no wait, that’s just Winona Ryder in her dress…

and the Number 1 Item Found by the Oscar Cleanup Crew…

1> 3 hours and 34 minutes of your life.

.

Credits:

Selected from 32 submissions from 10 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Ian Ravdin, Chicago, IL — 1, 6
Bonnie Blippo, Wellesley, MA — 2, 5
Douglas Jones, Santa Cruz, CA — 3, Topic
Jude Benlab, Swarthmore, PA — 4, 7
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 8
Jennifer A. Ford, Ft. Wayne, IN — 8, 9
Galen Carnicelli, San Francisco, CA — 9
Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX — 9
Chris White, Los Angeles, CA — 9
Jennifer Lopez, New York, NY — Best Visual Effects
Eric F. Lipton, Washington, DC — Script Doctor