September 21st, 2007



NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:
Everybody’s got one…


The Top 9 Hollywood
Plans to End the War in Iraq


9> Two words: dance off!

8> Fire off a few Cruise missiles. Tom Cruise missiles, that is.

7> Put it on the CW, let it get cancelled.

6> Subtitle it — no one will care anymore.

5> Free DVDs of virgins to all who surrender their weapons.

4> Have Al Gore give the Iraqis a PowerPoint presentation on why they should get along.

3> Make Chris Kattan and Jason Alexander the stars. We’ll be done by Thanksgiving.

2> Air-drop Andy Dick. OK, I’m not sure how this will work, but it’ll get him the hell away from us.

and the Number 1 Hollywood Plan to End the War in Iraq…

1> “I’d like to introduce you to our top negotiator, Rosie O’Donnell. She will be staying in your country until you can settle your differences.”




.

Credits:

Selected from 38 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 1
Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR — 2, 3
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 3
John English, Orem, UT — 4
Judith Cotrill, Bronx, NY — 5
William C. Martell, Studio City, CA — 6, 7
Kim Moser, New York, NY — 8
Danny Gallagher, Henderson, TX — 9
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — List Premier