NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

Regarding the upcoming presidential election, some
people say, “Anybody but Bush.” Anybody, huh?

The Top 9 Differences
Under President Courtney Love

9> “Hell, yeah, I inhaled!”

8> New cabinet position: Secretary of Skank.

7> Now only on HBO, the State of the Union address surpasses “Scarface” for usage of the F-word.

6> An invitation to sleep in the Lincoln Bedroom includes “fringes.”

5> Her constant stumbling and falling down makes Gerald Ford look like a ballerina.

4> She decides D.C. blows; our new capital is Amsterdam!

3> Easy, affordable access to prescription drugs are now not just available to seniors.

2> Good-bye, “Hail to the Chief.” Hello, “I Touch Myself.”

and the Number 1 Difference Under President Courtney Love…

1> The Secret Service is less worried about a possible psycho in the crowd, more worried about the one they’re guarding.

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Credits:

Selected from 46 submissions from 14 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 1 (4th #1)
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 2
Danny Gallagher, Henderson, TX — 3, 5
Jennifer Ford, Ft. Wayne, IN — 3
John English, Orem, UT — 4
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA — 6, 7
Scott Bostick, Lake Ridge, VA — 7
Kim Moser, New York, NY — 8
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO — 8
Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD — 9
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Editor, Ex-Stripper