NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

Well, the Academy Awards came and went, *yawn*.
Hmmm… how would TopFive pump up the ol’ show?

The Top 9 Differences If the
Academy Awards Were Run by Frat Guys

9> Out: Tuxes and designer dresses. In: Colorful bed sheets held together with safety pins.

8> All female presenters required to wear wet t-shirts.

7> Joan and Mellissa Rivers stuffed in gunny sacks and tossed off a bridge.

6> Jell-O shots between awards.

5> Special Lifetime Achievement Award for Seann William Scott.

4> Gold statuettes replaced by gold-plated beer bongs.

3> New categories: “Best Rack in a Starring Role” and “Best Film in Which a Fart is Lighted.”

2> Winners have to crawl through a spanking tunnel to get to the stage.

and the Number 1 Difference If the Academy Awards Were Run by
Frat Guys…

1> “Dude, Where’s my Car?” nominated for 12 Oscars, wins 14.

.

Credits:

Selected from 48 submissions from 14 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom, S. Africa — 1, 4 (4th #1)
John English, Orem, UT — 2
Scott Bostick, Lake Ridge, VA — 3, 7
William C. Martell, Studio City, CA — 4
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 5
Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS — 6, 8
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA — 6
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 9
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 9
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Your RA