NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

“Lord of the Rings” director Peter Jackson’s
new film is “King Kong.”

The Top 7 Differences If Peter
Jackson and Michael Jackson Switched Places

7> Sauron? A giant, hideous prosthetic nose.

6> Black Riders actually whiter than Shadowfax.

5> When Pete jumps on top of a car to dance, he puts a big ol’ dent in the roof.

4> Gollum’s split-personality monologue much shorter: “I’m bad, I’m good, you know it!”

3> Macaulay Culkin’s “Frodo” sports tiny neoprene hotpants, dangles Gollum over the Crack of Doom.

2> Liv Tyler replaced with that kid from “Two and a Half Men.”

and the Number 1 Difference If Peter Jackson and Michael Jackson
Switched Places…

1> Hey, those aren’t dwarfs, they’re just little boys with glued-on beards!

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Credits:

Selected from 35 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR — 1
Scott Bostick, Lake Ridge, VA — 2, 3
G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa — 3, 4
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 3
Danny Gallagher, Henderson, TX — 3
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 5
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 6, 7
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Dancin’ As Fast As I Can