NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

Last January, I became the oh-so-proud papa of
a little red “wiener dog”. And all through the
exhausting housetraining, all I could think was:
“She’s like an actress — beautiful,
but *so* high-maintenance!”

The Top 9 Differences If
Movies Were Made by Dachshunds

9> No scenes involving stairs.

8> Even wiener dogs have enough sense not to make “Pootie Tang”.

7> Widescreen format changed from 1.85:1 to 50:1.

6> Shortest guy always gets the girl.

5> Audrey Hepburn would have a long body and a short neck.

4> A significant increase in product placement by Hebrew National.

3> “The Ugly Dachshund” would have been called “The Stupid Great Dane”.

2> Crane shots replaced by cameraman standing on a folding chair.

and the Number 1 Difference If Movies Were Made by Dachshunds…

1> Tom Cruise would still have to wear lifts.

.

Credits:

Selected from 31 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 1, 4
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA — 2, 7
Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS — 3
Douglas Jones, Santa Cruz, CA — 5
Beth Kujawski, Crown Point, IN — 6, 9
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 8
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Rusty’s Dad