NOTE FROM ERIC:

Not much has happened since speculation in the early
nineties that Bill Gates had interest in getting
involved with a motion picture production company.
But hey, why NOT use a 8-year-old, unprovable rumor for
a topic? We are, after all, dealing with Hollywood…

The Top 9 Changes if
Microsoft Ran Hollywood

9> Instead of the MGM Lion, movies open with Bill Gates complaining about the Justice Department.

8> Turns out your $8.50 ticket only lets you WATCH the movie; to actually ENJOY it you need to fork over another $89.95 in licensing fees.

7> A federal judge demands that “Braveheart” be split into two separate entities: The Parts that Guys Watch, and The Parts that Girls Watch.

6> Star Wars, Star Wars ‘95, Star Wars ‘98, Star Wars Millennium…

5> To see one Michael Caine movie, you now have to purchase tickets to his entire suite of 238 films.

4> “Oh, thank you, Clarence — I now see how the world would be better if Steve Jobs had never been born!”

3> 10 bucks for a ticket, 5 bucks for popcorn, and 20 minutes to download Windows Media Player.

2> Constant timeline shifts cause Pulp Fiction to crash halfway through.

and the Number 1 Change if Microsoft Ran Hollywood…

1> “And the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor goes to… the Paper Clip dude!”

.

Credits:

Selected from 53 submissions from 14 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD — 1, 3
Greg Preece, Toronto, ON — 2
Craig D. Barker, Livonia, MI — 4
Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA — 5
Eric M. Wakeford, Niagara Falls, ON — 6
Clifton J. Gray, Tucson, AZ — 7, RU list name
Kim Moser, New York, NY — 8
Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL — 9
Marko Peric, Prince Edward Island, Canada — 9
Jude Benlab, Swarthmore, PA — RU list name
Eric F. Lipton, Washington, DC — Topic, Script Doctor