NOTE FROM ERIC:

Fans eager for the sequel to “The Matrix” were
saddened to learn last week that effects production
will delay its release by at least a year and a half.
While disappointing, it is hardly the
first time a film went off schedule.

The Top 9 Causes For Movie Delays

9> Mission Impossible 2: Tom Cruise labored for months over ending monologue where he graphically described his forbidden love for gay German porn stars.

8> Planet of the Apes: Writers *still* struggling over ending to film -– even now, five weeks after release.

7> Lord of the Rings: Gandalf constantly trying to keep Gollum from humping leg.

6> Disease backward of outbreak odd to due delayed production: Memento.

5> Hamlet: Demanding better pay, monkeys #16743 through #29238 went on strike for three weeks.

4> Star Wars Episode II: Thirty takes per scene demanded by obsessive perfectionist Jar-Jar Binks.

3> Traffic 2: Production on hold because Michael Douglas’s co-star/future wife hasn’t been born yet.

2> Toy Story 3: Just as he lost all that weight for his part in “Cast Away,” Tom Hanks insists he must become a cloth puppet, delaying production indefinitely.

and the Number 1 Cause For a Movie Delay…

1> Matrix 2: Got the “Red Pill” mixed up with the “Birth Control Pill,” and now Keanu has breasts.

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Credits:

Selected from 39 submissions from 10 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Eric M. Wakeford, Niagara Falls, ON — 1, 4, 7 (Hat Trick!)
Jude Benlab, Swarthmore, PA — 1, 9
Zachary Brewster-Geisz, Greenbelt, MD — 2, 6
Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL — 3
Kim Moser, New York, NY — 4
Clifton J. Gray, Tucson, AZ — 5, RU Name
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 8
Aimee Spanier, Oakland, CA — 9
Eric F. Lipton, Washington, DC — Topic, Script Doctor