July 25th, 2008
The Top 9 Nasty Movie Review Quotes
9> “It appears the role was written with Paris Hilton or Tara Reid in mind, but they had to go with something cheaper.”
8> “Concession stands should be required to carry laxatives in order to purge this colossal pile of cinematic excrement.”
7> “About as funny as a Family Circus knock-knock joke.”
6> “When all is said and done, the best thing that could be said about this movie is that the master negative, when properly ‘edited,’ would supply the world with enough guitar picks for several years.”
5> “Except for the absolutely terrible acting, screenplay, directing, cinematography, score and sound, this would be a mediocre film.”
4> “Halfway through this abomination, I sadly discovered that the edge of a Jujube box was not keen enough to slash one’s wrists.”
3> “What light through yon window breaks? It is the projector, committing suicide rather than show this movie again.”
2> “To say the acting is wooden would be an insult to your kitchen table.”
and the Number 1 Nasty Movie Review Quote…
1> “This screenplay? Three monkeys, twelve minutes.”
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Credits:
Selected from 31 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
John English, Orem, UT — 1, 7
Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 2, 6
Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 3
Donald Johnson, Cinncinatti, OH — 4, 8
Randy Lee, Burke, VA — 5
Brandon Hunt, Portsmouth, RI — 9
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Chief Critic
