July 21, 2011      Share

The new Captain America film debuts tomorrow.
If you haven’t yet seen the previews, or are
unfamiliar with the comic book, Steve Rogers
starts off a short, scrawny private, then becomes
a buff super-soldier through science, and is
promoted to captain. But even though he becomes
a legend, what is it about Cap that specifically
shows he’s still a regular Joe in the U.S. Army?

The Top 9 Ways to Tell
Captain America Is Still in the Army

9> Wears headgear that affords zero eye protection from the sun.

8> You can’t ask where he got the colorful outfit, because he
won’t tell.

7> He was drafted. Duh.

6> The flashy uniform is nice, but it still doesn’t command
respect like the four gold stripes of a Navy captain.

5> Unlike bell-bottom-wearing sailors, has absolutely no fashion

4> The shield is obviously Army — Salvation, that is.

3> He’s a less-than 90-day OCS wonder who thinks he can do the
mission alone.

2> Wears ostentatiously tacky clothes when off duty.

and the Number 1 Way to Tell Captain America Is Still in the Army…
1> Adds Pattonesque embellishments to the uniform.



Selected from 19 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 1, 2, 3, 4 (4-day pass!),
Banner tag (29th #1!)
Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA — 3, 5, 9 (3-day pass!)
Edward Rodman, St. Marys, GA — 6
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 7
Chuck Cooke, Austin, TX — 8
Colonel Howie, The Pentagon, VA — Topic
Kilroy, Washington, DC — Graffitist