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September 8, 2011      Share

NOTE FROM KILROY:
Next Sunday marks the 10th anniversary of
the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center and
the Pentagon, and the heroic actions of the
passengers that brought their own plane down
near Shanksville, PA. Imagine an alternate
reality where all that never happened.

The Top 9 Ways the World Would
Be Different If 9/11 Never Happened

9> Groping Grandma would be a felony, not a job description.

8> The funny man would have finished reading those kids the story
about a pet goat.

7> “Live with 100 other guys in a deposed dictator’s multimillion
dollar mansion” would still be on your bucket list.

6> The number of Americans who know where Kabul is would be 3
instead of 17.

5> “Waterboarding” would be a synonym for “surfing.”

4> The Coast Guard would still come oh-so-logically under the
Department of Transportation.

3> To most Americans, “Jersey barrier” would just mean Snooki’s
diaphragm.

2> Vice President Cheney would not have been camping out in my
backyard for several years.

and the Number 1 Way the World Would Be Different If 9/11 Never Happened…
1> Thousands of young American men and women would never have
witnessed the breathtaking beauty that is Helmand Province.


.

Credits:

Selected from 39 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Glenn Anthony, San Carlos, CA — 1, 7 (2nd #1!)
Marty McCullen, Gettysburg, PA — 2
Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 3
Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA — 4, Banner tag
Bob Dalton, Arlington, VA — 5, 9
Edmund Conti, Raleigh, NC — 6
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 8
Colonel Howie, The Pentagon, VA — Topic
Kilroy, Washington, DC — Graffitist

RUNNERS UP list — Nothing but the Truthers

Dick Cheney’s memoirs would be receiving positive reviews for
their many insights into the policy-making process.
     (Bob Dalton, Arlington, VA)

Dubya would be back in AA and our bonds would still be AAA.
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)

George “Slam-Dunk” Tenet would be forever known as “Who?”
     (Bob Dalton, Arlington, VA)

Michael Moore’s “Fahrenheit 9/11″ would have been a work of
fiction. Oh, wait …
     (Bob Dalton, Arlington, VA)

More people would be wearing Afghans, rather than Afghans wearing
out people.
     (Edmund Conti, Raleigh, NC)

People would have a harder time remembering “What’s that 3-digit
number to call for emergencies?”
     (Marty McCullen, Gettysburg, PA)

President and Commander-in-Chief Condoleezza Rice.
     (Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA)

Rudy Giuliani would be a talking head…but just on AM radio.
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)

Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden would be in the middle of an
online “Call of Duty” grudge match.
     (Glenn Anthony, San Carlos, CA)

Vice President Obama, having replaced the disgraced John Edwards
in President Kerry’s second term, would be gearing up for a
primary battle with Hillary Clinton.
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)

Wall Street wouldn’t panic over the least little thing. What? They
always have? Well, never mind…
     (Marty McCullen, Gettysburg, PA)

You wouldn’t have to wear clean socks to the airport.
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)

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