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September 29, 2011      Share

On Saturday, the Defense Intelligence Agency
celebrates a big birthday. They’re holding
their 50th Anniversary Jubilee Ball at the
Ronald Reagan Building in Washington D.C.
Wouldn’t you like to be a bug on the wall?

The Top 9 Things Overheard
at the DIA 50th Birthday Gala

9> “When the Director said he’d like to tap that, he wasn’t
talking about the waitress.”

8> “Actually, it’s our centennial. From 1911 to 1961, we just had
better OPSEC.”

7> “Since I told my nutty neighbor that I work at Bolling, he
thinks I’m a pinsetter.”

6> “How’d you like to come over to my place to discuss the HUMINT

5> “Who encrypted the writing on the cake? That’s NSA’s shtick.”

4> “In the next 50 years, we need to do a better job branding
ourselves. I’m sick and tired of people thinking I work at the
Denver airport.”

3> “No, the Defense Attache System is nothing like the
FranklinCovey Day Planner System. It’s a lot more expensive.”

2> “Yep, the guy who came up with ‘Odyssey Dawn’ had just come
back from a cruise vacation. Why do you ask?”

and the Number 1 Thing Overheard at the DIA 50th Birthday Gala…
1> “I know our mission is to develop intelligence for
warfighters, but the perk of hacking Scarlett Johansson’s
cell phone is really what makes this a great place to work.”



Selected from 37 submissions from 6 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Glenn Anthony, San Carlos, CA — 1, 4 (3rd #1!)
Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA — 2, 5, 8 (3-day pass!), Banner
Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 3, 5, 9 (3-day pass!)
Marty McCullen, Gettysburg, PA — 4, 7
Bob Dalton, Arlington, VA — 6
Colonel Howie, The Pentagon, VA — Topic
Kilroy, Washington, DC — Graffitist

RUNNERS UP list — Borderline Intelligence

“Did you know that Castro wears boxer shorts? We do.”
     (Bob Dalton, Arlington, VA)

“Happy [CLASSIFIED] to you, happy [CLASSIFIED] to you ….”
     (Bob Dalton, Arlington, VA)

“Hey, isn’t ‘One Mission. One Team. One Agency’ an awful lot like
‘One People. One Nation. One Leader.’?”
     (Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA)

“I used to tell people that I worked in McNamara’s Band.”
     (Marty McCullen, Gettysburg, PA)

“Is your compliance training up to date?”
     (Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA)

“See those ‘Can’t Blow Them Out!’ birthday candles? Ron developed
that technology, and it only cost $48 million!”
     (Glenn Anthony, San Carlos, CA)

“This is really our silver anniversary celebration. It took
another 25 years to get it approved and funded.”
     (Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA)

“Yes, the A in MASINT stands for ‘and.’ Now, go away.”
     (Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA)

“You don’t have to place your order with the bartender. He already
knows everything you want.”
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)

Runners Up list name
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)