June 5, 2008      Share

NOTE FROM LITTLE FIVERS:
For reasons best left unexplained, this
is Little Fivers Lingerie Week.
Participating Fivers will be donning
their frilliest fancies for your
entertainment. All we can say is: be
thankful this is a text-based medium.
Semper ubi sub ubi!

The Top 9 Reasons
“Going Commando” Is
Better Than Wearing Lingerie

9> Because William Wallace would be proud.

8> Because the Russians will think we developed stealth underwear
technology, and it will drive their lab researchers crazy.

7> Because if you get caught behind enemy lines and savagely
interrogated, at least your poor mother won’t have to worry
about the state of your undies.

6> Because that’s how you take care of your dependents.

5> Because it’s the proper way to hide your WMD (Weapons of
Massive Dangleage).

4> Because Victoria’s Secret has been strictly classified by
headquarters.

3> Ummm, because skid marks are less obvious on camo than on
white satin?

2> Because life is just nicer when you use Frederick’s of
Hollywood panties as a helmet liner.

and the Number 1 Reason “Going Commando” Is Better Than Wearing Lingerie…
1> Because you really don’t want your hand grenade pins getting
caught on your G-string.


.

Credits:

Selected from 32 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Gideon Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa — 1, 7 (2nd #1!
Jislaaik!)
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 2
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 3, Banner tag
John O’Byrne, Dublin, Ireland — 4
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 5
Marty McCullen, Gettysburg, PA — 6
Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 8
Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS — 9
Colonel Howie, The Pentagon, VA — Topic
Kilroy, Washington, DC — Staff Duty Officer
(SDO)

RUNNERS UP list — Commandon’ts

Because after a run in boot camp, drill sergeants can spot the
slackers by the lack of reddened slapmarks on the upper thigh.
     (Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)

Because as they say across the Pond, “No bloomers on manoeuvers!”
     (John O’Byrne, Dublin, Ireland)

Because even Special Ops can take only so much roughness in the
bush, pal.
     (Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)

Because it allows a quicker response to “TEN-HUT!” and “AT EASE!”
     (Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)

Because it gives an entirely new meaning to the phrase “field
stripping your rifle.”
     (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

Because it makes for ironic panty raids.
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)

Because nothing comes between me and my BDUs.
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)

Because you don’t want to be reminded of what day it is when
you’re on leave.
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)

Because you want all weapons readily handy.
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)

Hey! We’re supposed to be fighting for freedom, right? Well isn’t
this a good first step?
     (Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)

Runners Up list name
     (Gideon Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa)

Share