September 15, 2011      Share

Sunday is the 64th birthday of the U.S. Air
Force. Its current motto is an unwieldy kluge
of “Aim High” and “Fly-Fight-Win.” That’s not
much better than the way Marines refer to them
(“An Honorable Alternative to Military
Service”). We at TopFive think it’s about time
to slip the surly bonds and start all over.

The Top 10 New Air Force Mottos

10> Foxholes are for animals

9> Because very little hand-to-hand combat occurs at 30,000 feet

8> We look down on everyone else

7> Our dogfights are legal

6> We didn’t like war, so we got over it

5> To air is divine

4> Who else employs Xbox gamers as UAV pilots?

3> Now in our 7th decade of flying higher than hippie draft

2> Real fighting is beneath us

and the Number 1 New Air Force Motto…
1> Air on the side of caution



Selected from 46 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 1, 2, 3, 5 (4-day pass!),
Banner tag (31st #1!)
Edmund Conti, Raleigh, NC — 3
Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS — 3
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 3
Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL — 4, 10
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 6
Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA — 7
Marty McCullen, Gettysburg, PA — 8
Glenn Anthony, San Carlos, CA — 9
Colonel Howie, The Pentagon, VA — Topic
Kilroy, Washington, DC — Graffitist

RUNNERS UP list — Aimed Low

Antiques flown daily
     (Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA)

Bombing countries that don’t like us for 64 years
     (Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS)

Fart all you want at 20,000 feet
     (Edmund Conti, Raleigh, NC)

Hey Microsoft, we got yer cloud right here
     (Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)

‘Nam wasn’t so bad from 40,000 feet up
     (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

We have gorgeous swords, though we don’t know why
     (Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA)

Runners Up list name
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)