Next  Previous list:  

October 20, 2011      Share

Cadets and midshipmen who attend service
or other military colleges (VMI, The Citadel,
Norwich, NMMI) tend to miss out on the “great
American college experience.” But it’s not
all bad news for those who spend their
college years in a military environment.

The Top 9 Differences Between
Civilian Colleges and Military Colleges

9> Military college grads know how to take orders. Civilian
college grads know how to take fast-food orders.

8> For civilian colleges, Spring Break means going to a beach and
shakin’ it. For military colleges, summer sometimes means
going to a beach and takin’ it.

7> 5’10″ and 180 lbs? Yes, you can start on the front line for a
Division I varsity football program.

6> If your daughter goes to Annapolis, you can relax if she tells
you on the phone she’s getting a great deal of exposure to

5> At the service academies, it’s hard to get the required
classes you need to complete your Minor in Dance.

4> Most civilian colleges aren’t secure enough to have goats or
mules as their mascots, so they use ferocious beasts to

3> Frat pledges at civilian colleges have Hell Week. Plebes,
doolies, rats, knobs, and rooks have Hell Year.

2> Nobody ever dies for dear old Rutgers.

and the Number 1 Difference Between Civilian Colleges and Military Colleges…
1> Only at West Point would your daughter proudly announce that
after two years of incredibly hard work, she is now a cow.



Selected from 33 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 1, 6 (7th #1!)
Edmund Conti, Raleigh, NC — 2
Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 3, Banner tag
Marty McCullen, Gettysburg, PA — 4
Glenn Anthony, San Carlos, CA — 5, 7
Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA — 8
Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL — 9
Colonel Howie, The Pentagon, VA — Topic
Kilroy, Washington, DC — Graffitist

RUNNERS UP list — Underclassed

A service academy graduate with an English degree is actually
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)

At civilian colleges, only the athletes get paid.
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)

At civilian colleges, professors get tenured positions. At
military colleges, the graduates do.
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)

Civilian College: Salty Dog at a bar. Military College: Saltpeter
in the mess hall.
     (Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)

Civilian colleges have academic freedom; freedom’s not academic at
military colleges.
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)

Most civilian colleges have banned firearms.
     (Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA)

Most real schools are institutions of *higher* learning. Except
for USAFA, service academies are more down-to-earth (or even at
and below sea level).
     (Marty McCullen, Gettysburg, PA)

The cannon that gets fired after a touchdown once used live
     (Glenn Anthony, San Carlos, CA)

Runners Up list name
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)