September 2, 2010      Share/Bookmark

NOTE FROM KILROY:
It’s not just the U.S. military that’s
being affected by budget cuts. Our
closest ally, the United Kingdom of
Great Britain and Northern Ireland, is
getting ready for major drawdowns as
well. Does that mean the sun that used
to never set on the British Empire will
abandon them, leading to dark times?

The Top 9 Consequences of
Cuts to Her Majesty’s Armed Forces

9> Only the non-bastard Royal family members will keep their
honorary military titles.

8> “Gents, we must scrap our oldest war plan: Retaking
Boston.”

7> Field Marshals will become Small Garden Plot Marshals.

6> Destroyers HMS Daring and Dauntless to be rechristened HMS
Unassuming and Spineless.

5> Commander Bond (on loan from the Royal Navy) may need to
settle for domestic caviar.

4> HQ Land Forces of the British Army downsized into Knights of
the Round Table.

3> Vegetarian-only guards at Tower of London should save on beef
eating costs.

2> Scottish regiments might be kilt off entirely.

and the Number 1 Consequence of Cuts to Her Majesty’s Armed Forces…
1> All RAF aircraft must be capable of running on whatever
gritty, seawater-laced petroleum products the BP recovery
teams provide.


.

Credits:

Selected from 38 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 1 (4th #1!)
Bob Dalton, Arlington, VA — 2, 3, 4 (3-day pass!)
Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 3, Banner tag
Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 5
Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA — 6
John O’Byrne, Dublin, Ireland — 7, Topic
Marty McCullen, Gettysburg, PA — 8
Bruce K. Skillin, Seattle, WA — 9
Kilroy, Washington, DC — Graffitist

RUNNERS UP list — Lost Too Many Pounds

Austin Powers’ personal aircraft downgraded from a 747-400 to a
Piper Cub.
     (Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)

Black Watch, 3rd Battalion, Royal Regiment of Scotland reorganized
into Shades of Grey Watch.
     (Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA)

British Army will go back to using last century’s model of a
modern Major-General.
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)

Following cutbacks in vermin control, expect a plague of Great
Highland Bagpipes.
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)

Neither Special Air Service nor Special Boat Service will be quite
so special anymore.
     (Bob Dalton, Arlington, VA)

Royal Marines to be re-designated as Commoner Marines.
     (Bob Dalton, Arlington, VA)

Royal Marines will no longer be Jacks or better.
     (Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)

Royal Navy will have to slash their submarine force in half, to
one boat.
     (Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)

UNIT will only have half the number of hot English babes to help
Doctor Who when he saves the world from aliens next week.
     (Bruce K. Skillin, Seattle, WA)

Runners Up list name
     (Marty McCullen, Gettysburg, PA)

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