September 4th, 2008
NOTE FROM RANDY:
Just last month, the country of Georgia fought against
separatist rebels in its regions of South Ossetia and
Abkhazia, who were *assisted* by invading troops from the
Russian Federation. Fortunately, it looks like a cease-fire is
holding, although Russian annexation could cause another flare-up.
But there was *bound* to be some confusion anyway.
separatist rebels in its regions of South Ossetia and
Abkhazia, who were *assisted* by invading troops from the
Russian Federation. Fortunately, it looks like a cease-fire is
holding, although Russian annexation could cause another flare-up.
But there was *bound* to be some confusion anyway.
The Top 9 Signs You
Invaded the Wrong Georgia
Invaded the Wrong Georgia
9> Frankly, you don’t give a damn.
8> You’re negotiating a swamp where you run into some bizarre talkin’ critters named Pogo, Albert, Churchy and Porky.
7> All the locals speak in an indecipherable tongue. (OK, that could be either place.)
6> You hear strange banjo sounds every time you approach a river.
5> You can’t buy vodka anywhere — not even the hardware store, the beauty shop, the doctor’s office or church!
4> Your general calls an immediate retreat when the first local he meets tells him he’s got a purty mouth and suggests he should squeal like a pig.
3> You discover the Su-25 can be brought down by a varmint gun.
2> After negotiating with rebel leader Cynthia McKinney, your commander backs… slowly… out… of… the… country.
and the Number 1 Sign You Invaded the Wrong Georgia…
1> The enemy keeps pelting you with grits.
.
Credits:
Selected from 41 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
David Bloyer, Comer, GA — 1, 7 (10th #1! Wisdom, Justice, and Moderation!)
Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 2, Topic
J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA — 3, 7
Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 4, 9, Banner tag
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 4
Michele Lord, Lincoln, NE — 4
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 5
Bruce K. Skillin, Seattle, WA — 6, 7
G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa — 7
Marty McCullen, Gettysburg, PA — 8
Randy Lee, Burke, VA — Staff Duty Officer (SDO)
RUNNERS UP list — Missed the Midnight Train
Godforsaken wilderness? Check. Locals with strange accents? Check.
Orange car and voice-over guy? Uh-oh…
(Michele Lord, Lincoln, NE)
It hardly matters whether you’re in the right place; if that guy starts in with his lame jokes (”In Russia, Army joins you!”), just start shooting.
(Michele Lord, Lincoln, NE)
President Lincoln must have said the fighting would be gory, but you thought he said the fighting would be *in* Gori.
(David Bloyer, Comer, GA)
When you get there, you realize the only oil in any pipeline is *peanut* oil.
(David Bloyer, Comer, GA)
You can’t really tell, since both have forbidding Caucasians looming in the North.
(Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)
You don’t know, because Jimmy Carter would get in your face in either location.
(Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)
Your commander decided to retreat, because he heard they were ranked #1 in the preseason polls.
(David Bloyer, Comer, GA)
Runners Up list name
(Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)
(Michele Lord, Lincoln, NE)
It hardly matters whether you’re in the right place; if that guy starts in with his lame jokes (”In Russia, Army joins you!”), just start shooting.
(Michele Lord, Lincoln, NE)
President Lincoln must have said the fighting would be gory, but you thought he said the fighting would be *in* Gori.
(David Bloyer, Comer, GA)
When you get there, you realize the only oil in any pipeline is *peanut* oil.
(David Bloyer, Comer, GA)
You can’t really tell, since both have forbidding Caucasians looming in the North.
(Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)
You don’t know, because Jimmy Carter would get in your face in either location.
(Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)
Your commander decided to retreat, because he heard they were ranked #1 in the preseason polls.
(David Bloyer, Comer, GA)
Runners Up list name
(Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC)
