Previous list: 
August 23, 2007
U.S., breast enhancement, does not come without
its price. Studies have shown that the risk of
suicide increases after breast implantation. But
there’s even more they aren’t telling us …
the Breast Implant Label
9> “Have been shown to cause high blood pressure, loss of mental
faculties, and increased levels of infidelity in men.”
8> “Reduces perceived IQ by 30 points.”
7> “Implants may affect vision. You will no longer be able to see
your feet and men will no longer be able to see your face.”
6> “An increase in bedsores has been associated with the use of
implants.”
5> “Jogging with implants larger than 38D increases the risk of
blunt force trauma.”
4> “When used in combination with alcohol, may increase the risk
of pregnancy.”
3> “Can cause irrational choices in pierced and tattooed
partners.”
2> “Can result in an acting career that results only in
low-quality, straight-to-video product with roles no better
than ‘Bikini Hot Tub Chick #3.’”
Selected from 51 submissions from 16 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Edward Rodman, Ocean, NJ — 1, 5
Leonard Topolski, Pearland, TX — 2
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 2, 9
Jamie Templin, Cumming, GA — 3, 4, 8 (Hat trick!)
Stephen A. Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO — 4
Frank Boneno, Baton Rouge, LA — 6
Tina Danecke, Edmonton, AB — 7
Kim Walker-Daniels RN/NWA, Madison, WI — Nurse Manager
grapefruit law.”
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
“Do not mistake sudden surge in popularity with long-term
interest.”
(Jeffrey Morris, South Salem, NY)
“Getting these installed and buying tank tops two sizes too small
will not make that no-good, do-nothing, run-around husband of
yours stop looking at everyone else’s implants.”
(Bill Ervin, Tigard, OR)
“Real friends will not ask ‘are they real?’ Real friends will ask
‘What were you thinking?’”
(Keith F. Woeltje, St. Louis, MO)
“Warning: Men are pigs.”
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
Runners Up list name
(Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL)