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May 29, 2008      Share/Bookmark

NOTE FROM KIM:
Researchers have found that mice fed the
caffeine equivalent of 3 to 5 cups of
coffee per day were protected from
UV-induced skin cancers. Based on these
experiments, they concluded that human
coffee and tea drinkers should also have
lower risks for skin cancer. How long do
you think it will be before Starbucks and
Micky D’s jump on the marketing bandwagon
and use the news to sell more brews?

The Top 7 Rejected Marketing
Slogans for “Healthy” Caffeine

7> Cancer-reducing coffee? You’re soaking in it!

6> 9 out of 10 Dermatologists Recommend Upping Your SPF*
(*Starbucks Protective Frappuccino)

5> We’ve replaced Bob’s SPF45 lotion with Folger’s Crystals.
Let’s see if he notices!

4> 50,000 Canadian Lab Rats Can’t Be Wrong!

3> Our Special Drip keeps you off *their* special drip!

2> Now if we could just figure out a way to claim all this other
crap is healthy!

and the Number 1 Rejected Marketing Slogan for “Healthy” Caffeine…
1> Starbucks. Who’s the Health Food Store *Now*?!?


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Credits:

Selected from 37 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 1, 5
Jeffrey Morris, South Salem, NY — 2, 3, Banner tag
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA — 4
Melanie Clark MD, Kalamazoo, MI — 5
Dawson E. Rambo, NREMT-B, Santa Rosa, CA — 6
Michael Cunningham, Naperdale, IL — 7
Kim Walker-Daniels RN/NWA, Madison, WI — Chug Nurse

RUNNERS UP list — Dehumornated

I don’t know about slogans but it might just explain Richard
Simmons.
     (Steve Lunetta, Tucson, AZ)

Runners Up list name
     (Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL)

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