NOTE FROM DUX:

New computer systems are all the rage in healthcare these days. But bleeding-edge technology needs to be supported by someone, and that someone is IT, the poor suckers.

The Top 6 Reasons Your Hospital’s IT Team Is Going on Strike

6> Surgical residents decided to prove that removing [...]

NOTE FROM KIM:

The over-65 crowd is the fastest growing segment of the population, but med and nursing schools aren’t producing nearly enough geriatricians. Surgeons can make more money, and treating older folks just isn’t “sexy.” But we know there are benefits to working with the “Silver Tsunami” that’s coming our way. [...]

The Top 5 Signs Your Dermatologist Has Been Watching Too Many Movies

5> Every friggin visit its, “I love the smell of topical fungicide in the morning!”

4> Her treatment for dermatitis, acne, psoriasis, sunburn AND shingles? CGI.

3> Assures you that any scarring will be “removed in final edit.”

2> Instead of reporting the biopsy results from your [...]

NOTE FROM KIM:

Political candidates come from all backgrounds, from all lines of work. But there are some pretty darn good reasons why you’ll be voting for that Registered Nurse running for the House or Senate.

The Top 6 Reasons You’re Electing a Nurse to Office

6> The UNIFORM! (Hey, at least I’m honest!)

5> No matter [...]

The Top 7 Euphemisms for “GI Distress”

7> Going “green” by reducing solid waste

6> Firing the retro rockets at cape colon

5> Mudslinging in the oval office

4> Splash-down of the lunch capsule

3> Hurricane Fanny is battering the hinterlands

2> Waging a smear campaign down south (political candidates only)

and the Number 1 Euphemism for “GI [...]

NOTE FROM DUX:

During a recent spell of under-the-weatherhood, I crawled into my doctor’s office 5 times in 2 weeks. Lot of good it did me.

The Top 7 Signs Your Doctor Is Tired of Seeing You

7> She conducts the entire examination over the intercom.

6> “I think you should [...]

The Top 7 Rejected Names for Gastric Bypass Surgery

7> Total Willpower Replacement

6> Jared’s Little Subway Secret

5> Cutting out the Middleman

4> Paying off the Beemer

3> SuperSizeEctomy

2> Installing an Inshrinkerator

and the Number 1 Rejected Name for Gastric Bypass Surgery…

1> Taking the Nonstop to Flushing

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Credits:

Selected from 42 submissions from 9 contributors. This week’s list [...]

NOTE FROM KIM:

It’s going to be a long one.

The Top 7 Health Tips for Surviving the Political Season

7> If you have a heart condition, and you’re a Republican, don’t watch MSNBC; if you’re a Democrat, don’t watch Fox News; and if you’re a Libertarian, [...]

NOTE FROM KIM:

Anatomy & Physiology. Where it is, and how it works. The basis for every other class you’ll every take in healthcare. Flunk these and it’s,”Would you like fries with that?”

The Top 8 Signs You’ve Studied Too Hard for Your Anatomy & Physiology Exam

8> You sit down at the [...]

The Top 7 Ways to Tell the Doctors From the Janitors

7> Doctors wear scrubs. Janitors scrub wares.

6> A doctor’s job is to make you stick out your tongue and say “Ahhhh!” A janitor’s involves holding your nose and saying “Pyewww!”

5> Janitors look harried, tired and irritated. Doctors look harried, tired and irritated, [...]