The Top 9 Worst First Sentences
in Law School Application Essays

9> “The Top Five reasons you ought to accept me are…”

8> “My friend Hector, you know, from down at the car stereo shop, he was like, ‘Yo man, you sharp, you should be lawya or somethin!’”

7> “My rivals having crumbled before me, their bloated corpes now distant memories, the final step of my plan requires a legal degree… Er, I mean, I’d really like to be an advocate for the downtrodden, poor and differently-abled of society.”

6> “Please pardon the crayon…”

5> “Well, I just registered ‘SueTheirAssOff.com,’ so I guess I better put up or shut up.”

4> “Dear Lousy, scum-sucking, weaselly, soulless ambulance chasers, please give me a chance to change your image.”

3> “My mother once told me that if I didn’t get off my ass and do something and I mean right now, she would beat the living crap out of me, so I decided to apply to Law School.”

2> “If the essay’s a hit, you must admit!”

and the Number 1 Worst First Sentence in Law School Application
Essays…

1> “It was the best of bribes. It was the worst of bribes.”

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Credits:

Selected from 72 submissions from 13 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 1 (4th #1!)
Jonathan Bernick, Conway, SC — 2
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 2
Nick Ortiz, Bensalem, PA — 3, 4
Will Middelaer, New Britain, CT — 5, 7, 8 (Hat trick!)
Jeff Gordon, Raleigh, NC — 6
Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR — 9
Bill Wickart, Hillsboro, OR — Runner-up List Name
Bob Van Voris, New York, NY — Topic
Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI — Top5 Law Chief Justice