The Top 9 Worst Answers to Give to
the Senate Judiciary Committee During Your

Confirmation Hearing



9> “To which Constitution are you referring?”

8> “Have I ever?? I’m high right now!”

7> “Didn’t I already bribe you?”

6> “I’m going to let the ‘one-eyed nominee’ answer that question.”

5> “Why are you PICKING on me?”

4> “I refuse to answer, because, well, ‘Orrin?’ What kind of stupid name is ‘Orrin?’”

3> “Why? Because it’s either accept this lousy government post or…(shudder)…get a *real* job.”

2> [Whispered] “I see dead people.”

and the Number 1 Worst Answer to Give to the Senate Judiciary
Committee During Your Confirmation Hearing…

1> “I believe in the soul, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. The overall authority of the Constitution, though: that’s debatable.”

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Credits:

Selected from 57 submissions from 12 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Nick Ortiz, Bensalem, PA — 1 (4th #1!)
BT Cesul, Ann Arbor, MI — 2
Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 3, 5
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 4, 8, Topic
Jonathan Bernick, Conway, SC — 6, RU List Name
Bill Wickart, Hillsboro, OR — 7
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 7
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 9
Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI — Top5 Law Chief Justice