The Top 9 Ways Not
to Attract New Clients

9> Casual Fridays are acceptable. “Pantsless Wednesdays” are not.

8> Peppering your speech with mobster slang will not endear you to celebrity clients of Italian decent.

7> During the initial consultation, vocalize everything the voices are telling you.

6> The fact you’ve figured out how to bill a nanosecond is not a client magnet.

5> Tax Department swimsuit calendar.

4> A full bar in the reception area makes for a relaxed staff, but tends to make potential clients nervous.

3> “Retain one Death Row appeal, get the next one free.”

2> “Here’s my card, when my bail gets posted, I’ll take your case!”

and the Number 1 Way Not to Attract New Clients…

1> Let’s just say that “Heroine for Justice” isn’t just your nickname, it’s also how you get paid.

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Credits:

Selected from 49 submissions from 10 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Tricia Hoffman-Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 1, 3 (Woohoo! 1st #1!)
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 2
SH Armstrong, Surf City, CA — 4, 6, 8, 9 (Hat trick!)
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 5, Topic
Bill Wickart, Hillsboro, OR — 7
Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI — Top5 Law Chief Justice