The Top 9 Ways Lawyers
are Better than Scientists

9> “Immutable laws? What immutable laws? There are *always* ways around laws.”

8> 99% of the time, lawyers smell better!

7> The letters in “lawyer” jumble to spell, “Aw, rely!” “Scientist” jumbles to “It’s incest!”

6> “Ally McBiology,” “LA Chemist,” and “Science & Order” just don’t have the same ring to them.

5> How many times do you hear about clients sleeping with their scientists?

4> “Infallible DNA evidence… yeah, sure.”

3> Hey, Jackson Browne didn’t sing about scientists in love, did he?

2> Lawyer: drives a BMW, works in a secure, air-conditioned office, goes home to a trophy wife. Scientist: drives whatever bike is left in the lab rack, works in a biohazard area, goes home when he can remember where it is, sleeps next to a retired experimental rodent.

and the Number 1 Way Lawyers are Better than Scientists…

1> When a lawyer slips up, an innocent man hangs, or maybe one little homicidal maniac is set free. But when a scientist slips up — Chernobyl! Thalidomide! Mothra! Skynet!

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Credits:

Selected from 39 submissions from 8 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Bill MacDonald, Alexandria, VA — 1, 4, 6, 7
(1st #1, Hat Trick, Rookie!)
Bill Wickart, Washington Co, OR — 2, 4, Banner Tag
Jeff Gordon, Raleigh, NC — 3, 5, 6 (Hat Trick!)
Nick Ortiz, Billerica, MA — 4
Brent McDaniel, Atlanta, GA — 6, 8
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 9
Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — Topic
Mike Ruiz, North Tonawanda, NY — Runner-up List Name
Bobby Donnell, Boston, MA — Runner-up List Name
Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI — Top5 Law Chief Justice