NOTE FROM GEOFF:

Anyone who has seen a James Bond movie is well
acquainted with the scenes where 007 gets his new
gadgets from “Q.” But what if Q’s expertise went
beyond nifty gadgetry?

The Top 9 Ways James Bond’s Life Would
Be Different If Q Branch Were Run by Lawyers

9> All coded messages would be in virtually unbreakable legalese.

8> “No, I said ‘license to bill.’”

7> Gadget development put on hold until Q can figure out how to cram 38 billable hours into each day.

6> Bond forced to watch training video on safety features of his new one-person mini-submarine.

5> Cyanide capsules now labelled: “Not to be taken internally.”

4> He’d be 004.62, since they’d get 30%.

3> Concern about conforming to environmental laws prompts Q to replace the Aston-Martin’s traditional oil slick with a biodegradable K-Y Jelly slick.

2> “License to Kill” replaced by “Waiver of liability for bodily harm.”

and the Number 1 Way James Bond’s Life Would Be Different If Q
Branch Were Run by Lawyers…

1> “This looks like an ordinary cigarette case. But if you’re attacked, press this stud here, release the catch, and there you have an instant restraining order. Range, 150 yards.”

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Credits:

Selected from 37 submissions from 8 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Bill MacDonald, Alexandria, VA — 1, 3, 5, Topic (8th #1!
Hat trick!)
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 2
Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 4
BT Cesul, Troy, OH — 6
Brent McDaniel, Atlanta, GA — 7
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — 8
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 9
Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI — Top5 Law Chief Justice