The Top 9 Ways Court Would Be Different
If Everyone Were Required to Wear Lingerie

9> “All males rise.”

8> Published opinions would likely include a lot more pictures.

7> The bailiff’s call to “All rise for Judge Wiener” gets even more guffaws than usual.

6> Given the sheerness of the teddy the judge is wearing, not much of his anatomy is left to the imagination.

5> “I’m citing you for Contempt of Corset!”

4> Jury duty would require as much dieting as being in a wedding.

3> Every other one is, “Objection! Erection, your Honor.”

2> Justices Thomas and Scalia could be heard singing a rousing duet of “I Feel Pretty” during oral argument sessions.

and the Number 1 Way Court Would Be Different If Everyone Were Required to Wear Lingerie…

1> New in syndication this fall, “The Peephole’s Court.”

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Credits:

Selected from 23 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 1, 3, 6, 7 (Affirmed! 45th #1!)
Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR — 2, 8
Barb McMullen, Ann Arbor, MI — 4, 5
Gideon Griebenow, Johannesburg, S Africa — 9
Geoff Brown, Commerce, MI — Top5 Law Chief Justice