NOTE FROM GEOFF:

Top5 Law and all of the Top5 Productions Lists
will be taking next week off for the holidays. For
those of you who celebrate it, Merry Christmas.
For the rest of you, have a wonderful and safe
holiday. We’ll be back on New Year’s Eve.

The Top 9 Things on a
Lawyer’s Christmas List

9> A gold Rolex Cellini, with each hour divided into 120 billable “minutes.”

8> The new revised edition of “Ethics for Dummies.”

7> Still waiting for that Transformer, “Megalitigatatron,” I asked for when I was eight.

6> The ability to fade away the minute someone asks for a legal opinion during a social event.

5> 3 RICO defenses 2 Hollywood Hookers And a Movie Star in a Triple Homicide!

4> Johnnie Cochran’s Rhyming Dictionary.

3> Peace on earth and universal goodwill towards men. Oh, and of course, $10 million dollars in the bank to make up for the subsequent loss of employment.

2> A real bar certificate — the one from the Cracker Jack box is still sticky.

and the Number 1 Thing on a Lawyer’s Christmas List…

1> 12 Jurors acquitting 11 Toxic torts 10 Defendants settling 9 Class actions 8 Hours of sleep 7 Hot secretaries 6 Egg shell plaintiffs 5 Slip… a-and… falls! 4 Memoranda 3 Plea bargains 2 Large judgments And a new desk and leather chair!

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Credits:

Selected from 26 submissions from 7 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Will Middelaer, New Britain, CT — 1 (2nd #1!)
Bruce K. Skillin, Ocean Park, ME — 2
Bill MacDonald, Alexandria, VA — 3, 7, 8, 9 (Hat trick!)
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 4
BT Cesul, Troy, OH — 5
SH Armstrong, Surf City, CA — 6
Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI — Top5 Law Chief Justice