The Top 9 Signs
Your Witness Is a Pet

9> The judge has to repeatedly order it to answer the question and stop asking for a cracker.

8> Its testimony is admitted under the excitable tail-wagging exception to the Hearsay Rule.

7> Your witness is discredited by opposing counsel after he proves the witness was hopped up on Scooby snacks.

6> Though you advised him not to testify in his own defense, your client insists that every dog must have his day… in court.

5> When you ask for permission to treat it as hostile, it latches on to your leg.

4> “Ress, ress, rit’s rall true… Rister Rith ras ra rurderer.”

3> Leading the witness is not only legal, but encouraged, as he might take a leak on the bench.

2> You’re worried that, because you gave him immunity, the jury will perceive your client as merely a stool pigeon… well, that plus the fact he literally *is* one.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Witness Is a Pet…

1> Witness just sits there in the sun, looking at you, ignoring your attempts to get it to say ANYTHING! (Cats only).

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Credits:

Selected from 19 submissions from 6 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Bruce K. Skillin, Waynesville, MO — 1 (3rd #1!)
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 2, 6
BT Cesul, Troy, OH — 3, 4, 7 (Motion Granted!)
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 5, 8, 9 (Motion Granted!)
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA — Topic
Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI — Top5 Law Chief Justice