The Top 8 Signs
Your Client Is a Zombie

8> Asks if you will take a post-dated brain as payment.

7> Insists his only alibi is that he wasn’t undead yet.

6> Despite the court reporter’s repeated requests for clarification, he does nothing but grunt and moan on the stand.

5> He wants you to bring a replevin action to recover his arm, jaw, and scalp.

4> It’s increasingly difficult to win over the jury when he tries to keep eating them.

3> While you’re busy rebutting expert testimony, he keeps nibbling on your second chair.

2> Keeps asking you to get him a “writ of habeas corpse.”

and the Number 1 Sign Your Client Is a Zombie…

1> Your retainer may be high, but the literal “arm and a leg” sitting in the corner are starting to smell.

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Credits:

Selected from 22 submissions from 6 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 1, 2, 3, 4 (Affirmed! 46th #1!)
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 5
Chris Pulliam, San Dimas, CA — 6, 7
Bruce K. Skillin, Seattle, WA — 8
Marty Cole, Fayetteville, NY — Topic
Geoff Brown, Commerce, MI — Top5 Law Chief Justice