June 24, 2003     

The Top 9 Reasons Lawyers
Wouldn’t Make Good Comic Book Heroes

9> She’ll fall out of favor with the kids as soon as she helps
Jean Grey file a restraining order against Cyclops.

8> Capes? Tres cool. Robes and powdered wigs? Not so much.

7> “Normally I’d see right through the plaintiff’s argument…
but she’s wearing that damn kryptonite amulet again.”

6> Refuses to save anyone who hasn’t forked over a really hefty
retainer.

5> The vast majority of super-hero work is in the criminal
sector, but the big money is in civil torts.

4> “At night, I’m a vigilante and drag some scumbag off to jail.
The next morning I get paid to get his charges thrown out
at the arraignment. Who gets billed for the vigilante hours?”

3> “Oh, really? I refer you, sir, to the statement you made
under direct examination in Issue 523, page 11, panel c….”

2> “Halt, fiend, or I shall file an application for an
injunction against you!”

and the Number 1 Reason Lawyers Wouldn’t Make Good Comic Book
Heroes…

1> No maniacal villain has ever chosen to comply with the law
based on the brilliance of the good guy’s arguments.

.

Credits:

Selected from 54 submissions from 10 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 1 (9th #1!)
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 2
Bill Wickart, Hillsboro, OR — 2, 5
Tricia Hoffman-Sabien, Cedar Rapids, IA — 3, 7, 8 (Hat trick!)
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 4
SH Armstrong, Surf City, CA — 6
Nick Ortiz, Somerville, MA — 9, Topic, RU List Name
Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI — Top5 Law Chief Justice