NOTE FROM GEOFF:

Oyez! Oyez! Oyez!
All Rise for the Honorable Debut Edition of the Top5 Law List!
Welcome to the first edition of the Top5 Law List.
Every week we’ll make light of the law in new and exciting ways.

The Top 8 Excuses for
Not Being Ready for Trial

8> Tampering with evidence and finding and bribing sequestered jurors takes far more time and effort than anticipated

7> Difficulty finding a clever rhyming phrase related to the case for the closing arguments (Johnnie Cochran only).

6> Client has a white Bronco and a full tank of gas.

5> The kids were behind schedule, and it took me longer than expected to get them all locked in the closet, Your Honor.

4> “I took the Fifth… of bourbon.”

3> “These are not the ‘droids you’re looking for.”

2> Your Magic 8 Ball keeps responding: “Outlook bleak, seek another continuance.”

and the Number 1 Excuse for Not Being Ready for Trial…

1> Justice Scalia came to me in a dream and said, “Blow it off, man, I got your back on appeal.”

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Credits:

Selected from 29 submissions from 12 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 1, Topic (1st #1! Woo-hoo!)
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 2, 8
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — 3
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 4
Pam Pickard, North Canton, OH — 5
Bob Van Voris, New York, NY — 6
Davejames, Hermosa Beach, CA — 7, 8
Mike Ruiz, North Tonawanda, NY — 7
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 8
Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA — 8
BT Cesul, Ann Arbor, MI — Runner Up list name
Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI — Top5 Law List Chief Justice