The Top 9 Things You Never Want
to Hear From Your Computer Consultant

9> “Well, she’s leakin’ oil from the motherboard and she’s gonna need a new set o’ points and plugs, and possibly a new timin’ belt.”

8> “The only data I could recover from your hard drive was a folder of JPEG files. And if I may say, you look very nice in pink chiffon, Sir.”

7> “Sure, we can fix your server. Do you happen to have some mouse blood and black candles?”

6> “Heh-heh…’Unix!’ Heh-heh!”

5> “People underestimate the raw computing power of the Commodore VIC-20.”

4> “Say, didn’t you used to beat me up in grade school?”

3> “This is just a part-time job. My day job is writing for an Internet humor mailing list.”

2> “Trust me, vacuum tube technology has come a long way since the ENIAC.”

and the Number 1 Thing You Never Want to Hear From Your Computer
Consultant…

1> “You don’t have worry about security. It’s all Microsoft software.”

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Credits:

Selected from 47 submissions from 19 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Gilberto Garc=EDa, Monterrey, Mexico — 1
Chris Lipe, Rome, NY — 2
Allen Evans, Cedar Rapids, IA — 3
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 4
Doug Crews, San Diego, CA — 5
Kim Moser, New York, NY — 6, List Moderator, Topic
Matt Van Opens, Kenosha, WI — 7
Joe Terranova, Lake Orion, MI — 8
John Newsome, Eastman, GA — 9