The Top 8 Things the
Internet Would Say If It Could Talk

8> Probably something like “01000101 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101101 01100101 00101110.” Get it? “00101110!”

7> “Your next door neighbor says thanks for the wireless!”

6> “I’d have thought you’d be able to memorize the entire page after 200 visits. It’s just a bunch of pictures!”

5> “Please don’t upgrade your monitor! I see enough of you as it is!”

4> “You say you love me for my wealth of knowledge, but you only spend time on my porn sites.”

3> “I changed my name from Arpanet for professional reasons.”

2> “Every time someone surfs a porn site an angel sheds a tear. Have you noticed the recent increase in hurricanes?”

and the Number 1 Thing the Internet Would Say If It Could Talk…

1> “You’ve got to be the only surfer out there who has trouble spelling ‘www.’”

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Credits:

Selected from 53 submissions from 18 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Guy Payne, Leeds, AL — 1
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 2
Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 3
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 4
Shawn McWhorter, St. Paul, MN — 5
G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa — 6
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 7, 8
Kim Moser, New York, NY — List Moderator, Topic