March 1, 2005     

NOTE FROM KIM:

A 17-year-old has set the Guinness World Record
for typing the fastest text message.

The Top 8 Signs You’re
the World’s Fastest Typist

8> Your calluses are bigger than your fingers.

7> Your thumbs have evolved so drastically that scientists have
already classified you as a separate species.

6> You can simultaneously hold IM conversations with 19
different people without them noticing a delay. And that’s
with just your left hand.

5> For safety, your keyboard has a cutoff switch that kicks in
whenever your fingers reach Mach 1.

4> When the police fingerprint you, it comes out looking like
“ASDFJKL;.”

3> Your cybersex sessions go from foreplay to orgasm before your
partner can even type “a/s/l?”

2> For fun, you start your compiler and try to race it by
finishing your program on the fly.

and the Number 1 Sign You’re the World’s Fastest Typist…

1> You make your living as a spammer, yet you manage to avoid
mass-mailing charges by individually typing and sending every
message by hand.

.

Credits:

Selected from 46 submissions from 16 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Joe Terranova, Lake Orion, MI — 1
Matt Van Opens, Kenosha, WI — 2, 4
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 3
Allen Evans, Cedar Rapids, IA — 3
Kim Moser, New York, NY — 5, 8, List