The Top 8 Signs Your
Computer Is Trying to Kill You

8> Just as you’re about to climax, the JPEG inexplicably changes from a nude Pam Anderson to Ernest Borgnine.

7> Laser from the optical mouse now burning holes in your desk.

6> It uses your e-mail account to spam alt.hells-angels.

5> It’s already amputated three of your fingers in the CD drawer.

4> You keep getting spam for cyanide instead of Viagra.

3> Your laptop is slowly frying your genitals.

2> Already has your suicide note typed up and saved in Word.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Computer Is Trying to Kill You…

1> When it tries to install Windows XP in *you*, guess where it shoves the CD?

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Credits:

Selected from 59 submissions from 23 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD — 1
Rane Pollock, N Richland Hills, TX — 2, 4
Daniel Attema, Adelaide, Australia — 3
Matt Van Opens, Kenosha, WI — 5
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS — 6
Chris Lipe, Rome, NY — 7
Jack Scheer, Falls Church, VA — 8
Kim Moser, New York, NY — List Moderator