The Top 9 Signs Somebody
Is Stealing Your Bandwidth

9> Half of the dancing hamsters are dead by the time the web page loads.

8> You upgrade to a T-1, and your next door neighbor drops by to personally thank you.

7> You actually use the telephone to call someone instead of slow-ass e-mail.

6> When making love to your wife, you’ve been lasting longer because the slow porn has re-conditioned you that way.

5> http://www.watchgrassgrowing.com is jerky.

4> Sure the file name is Jlo’sBooty.bmp, but it isn’t so big that it should take 8 hours to download.

3> If your connection was any slower, your information would be traveling backwards.

2> Your system just keeps getting slower and slower–and you’re NOT using Windows or AOL.

and the Number 1 Sign Somebody Is Stealing Your Bandwidth…

1> Scrawled on the bathroom wall: “For a good time, 210.223.116.22.”

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Credits:

Selected from 38 submissions from 14 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 1
Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD — 2, 3
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 4
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 5
Rane Pollock, N Richland Hills, TX — 6, 7
Doug Crews, San Diego, CA — 8
Joe Terranova, Lake Orion, MI — 9
Kim Moser, New York, NY — List Moderator