The Top 9 Signs a Geek’s
Resume Is Padded

9> Has enough Microsoft certifications to fill the Library of Congress, but can’t find his laptop’s power button.

8> Just because you dress up as a Stormtrooper on the weekends doesn’t mean you have “military experience”.

7> Proficient in “C#”, “Dflat”, “Esquared” and the number “3″.

6> “June 1983: Discovered backdoor into Pentagon mainframes and, with the help of my hot non-geek girlfriend and a retired professor, prevented World War III by teaching government computers the futility of war using a tic-tac-toe autoplay algorithm.”

5> Last time you checked, the CIA didn’t hire Klingon translators.

4> He has never been overworked by Microsoft, discontent with his managers at HP, nor fired from Intel.

3> Turns out “C” was the grade, not the course topic.

2> 2004-2006: Internet Tube Scrubber

and the Number 1 Sign a Geek’s Resume Is Padded…

1> Claims to understand Unix *and* have good people skills.

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Credits:

Selected from 38 submissions from 13 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 1, 4
Marshall Gatten, Glendale, CA — 2
Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX — 3
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 5
Doug Crews, San Diego, CA — 6
Kevin van Houten, The Colony, TX — 7
Matt Van Opens, Watertown, WI — 8
Chuck Burke, Phoenix, NY — 9
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — Topic
Kim Moser, New York, NY — List Moderator