The Top 7 Items on
the Internet’s Resume

7> 1969-present: enslaved the human race without them noticing.

6> Education: Attended UCLA, Stanford, University of California at Santa Barbara, and University of Utah (never graduated).

5> Successfully prevented the takeover of the U.S. government by computer nerds by keeping them distracted.

4> Began assistance program for the widows of Nigerian dictators.

3> Over the past 25 years, delivered more porn than Larry Flynt, Bob Guccione and Hugh Hefner combined.

2> Successfully facilitated discussions amongst people with diverse viewpoints, thereby determining once and for all who was the best Starfleet captain.

and the Number 1 Item on the Internet’s Resume…

1> Implemented complex “tube” system for communicating with Alaskan congressional offices.

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Credits:

Selected from 24 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 1, 4
Matt Van Opens, Watertown, WI — 2
Laura Oberst, Columbus, OH — 3
Allen Evans, Cedar Rapids, IA — 3
Chuck Burke, Phoenix, NY — 3, 5
Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 6
Marshall Gatten, Glendale, CA — 7
Kim Moser, New York, NY — List Moderator, Topic