August 19, 2008     

The Top 8 Internet
Hotline Complaints

8> “Help! All of my illegal music downloads have suddenly turned
into Rick Astley MP3s!”

7> “It says $39.99 per month for unlimited access, but 384 kbps
is not ‘unlimited.’”

6> “Since I upload more than I download, why aren’t you paying
me?”

5> “I opened Internet Explorer but it’s not exploring. It’s just
sitting there.”

4> “How can I steal Sandra Bullock’s identity?”

3> “Can you retake those satellite photos of my neighbor’s back
yard while she’s sunbathing?”

2> “Somebody must have hacked into my medical records because I
keep getting e-mails referring to my small penis.”

and the Number 1 Internet Hotline Complaint…

1> “Someone put softcore porn into my hardcore porn.”

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Credits:

Selected from 40 submissions from 13 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Brandon Hunt, Portsmouth, RI — 1
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 2, Topic
Chris Pulliam, San Dimas, CA — 3, 8
Doug Crews, San Diego, CA — 4, 5
Nathan Sherman, Bellevue, WA — 6, 7
Kim Moser, New York, NY — List Moderator