NOTE FROM KIM:

Microsoft recently announced a change in their
licensing agreement which basically eliminates the
“perpetual use” clauses that let customers continue using
whatever current version of their software is available at
the time the contract expires.

The Top 6 Hidden Clauses in
Microsoft’s New Licensing Agreement

6> Licensee (”you”) agrees that Licensor (”Microsoft”) may at any time demand an inordinate amount of money to ensure software continues to operate (”extortion”).

5> Customer agrees that, for the duration of the use of the Product, the Customer’s use of Usenet will be limited to posting “Linux sucks, Microsoft rules!”

4> By breaking the seal on the Product with obvious intent to make use of it, Customer agrees to be the Love Slave of Bill Gates (hey, if you were going to use this product, he was going to screw you anyway). This paragraph does not apply if Customer is male, has a nickname like “Crusher,” and can benchpress a small tractor… unless Customer agrees to refer to Bill Gates solely as “my cute little horsey.”

3> In no event shall Microsoft be held liable for loss of data, even though we can tell you right now that it’s going to happen no matter what you do, and it’ll probably be our fault to boot.

2> All ideas conceived in the same room as any Microsoft product (whether installed or shrink-wrapped) become the property of Microsoft. You have the right to license said ideas for your own use, subject to the payment of the requisite licensing fee.

and the Number 1 Hidden Clause in Microsoft’s New Licensing
Agreement…

1> If Customer ever decides that the Product is not perfect in every way, Customer agrees to hit him/herself in the head with a brick until this counterrevolutionary thought is suppressed.

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Credits:

Selected from 9 submissions from 4 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Dave Storrs, New York, NY — 1, 4, 5 (Hat trick!)
Ken Hallenius, Seattle, WA — 2
Kim Moser, New York, NY — 3, 6, List moderator