NOTE FROM KIM:

Microsoft just introduced Surface,
a flat-screen tabletop computer that
allows people to use their hands and
fingers to move on-screen objects.

The Top 9 Features of Microsoft Surface

9> It’s backward-compatible with 35% of plates, glasses, and silverware.

8> If you set down a coffee mug it immediately boots up Java.

7> Hmmm, there’s something awfully familiar about that big, bright blue rectangle…

6> Forget the fancy features, you just want to play tabletop Ms. Pac-Man like in the 80s.

5> The standard cupholder is no longer necessary.

4> Waving to a friend causes all your files to move to the Recycle Bin.

3> Comes with tablecloth so when it’s obsolete in six months it can be used as an actual coffee table.

2> When you place a Zune on it, Surface plays your music; when you place an iPod on it, Surface melts it.

and the Number 1 Feature of Microsoft Surface…

1> Imaging cameras automatically shut down upon detecting the approach of naked buttocks.

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Credits:

Selected from 37 submissions from 12 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 1, 4
Doug Crews, San Diego, CA — 1, 6, 9 (Hat trick!)
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 2, 3
Daniel Attema, Adelaide, Australia — 4
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 5, 7
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 5
Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX — 8
Matt Van Opens, Watertown, WI — Topic
Kim Moser, New York, NY — List Moderator