NOTE FROM KIM:

The Defense Department reports China is
building cyberwarfare units and developing viruses.

The Top 9 Features of
a Chinese Computer Virus

9> Just when you think you’ve erased it and restored your files, an hour later it empties your hard drive again.

8> It goes through your files and transposes all the R’s and L’s.

7> It’s really just a cheap knockoff of a brand-name American virus.

6> Instead of attacking code directly, it supports and arms similar North Korean and North Vietnamese viruses.

5> While it may be crafty, strong and clever, the Jackie Chan Antivirus always kicks its butt.

4> It adds pithy sayings to all your web browser cookie files.

3> It’s really only a threat to Wang systems.

2> It’s based on code stolen from Los Alamos Nuclear Research Laboratory.

and the Number 1 Feature of a Chinese Computer Virus…

1> Thanks to population controls, it only replicates once.

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Credits:

Selected from 37 submissions from 14 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 1, 9
Nathan Sherman, Bellevue, WA — 1
Chuck Burke, Phoenix, NY — 2, 9
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 3, 8
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 4
Matt Van Opens, Watertown, WI — 5, 9
Barry Wallace, Knoxville, TN — 6
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 7, 9
Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX — 9
Allen Evans, Cedar Rapids, IA — 9
Kim Moser, New York, NY — List Moderator, Topic